Episode Transcript
[00:00:20] Speaker A: Welcome to Infinite Human where we explore our limitless potential through conversations with guests who have achieved greatness, overcome challenges and work to find their purpose. We aim to share and inspire you to do the same.
I'm your host, Shona Kerr. I'm a college coach, professor and businesswoman who is eager to learn from and sharing the wisdom of others with you and onto the.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: Human welcomes Dr. Christine de Blasio and Genevieve Henry to our show. Dr. De Blasio is a founding member and Genevieve Henry is the Executive director of the Safety Team.
The Safety Team is an organization that teaches a proven form of self defence to all kinds of groups and individuals.
They talk about how the Safety Team came about as well as their own personal journeys toward that.
They give some wonderfully helpful information on what their sessions cover and how they actually have fun.
They're working to empower and therapeutically empower individuals for their own safety, in some cases from healing from trauma, as well as building self confidence in all areas of life.
They are both black belts in Kempu Jiu Jitsu have fascinating lives outside of the Safety team. Most recently, Dr. De Blasio was named USA Today's Vermont Woman of the Year.
Please enjoy listening to these amazing ladies.
Welcome Dr. Christine de Blasio and Genevieve Henry. Thank you so much for being here today. This is the first episode of Infinite Human where we have two guests, so I'm excited for this. I think more the merrier and I'm looking forward to have a really good time talking with you both this morning.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Thank you for inviting us.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Dr. Christine, you are the founder of the Safety Team and Genevieve, you are the executive director currently of the Safety Team and both have incredible stories that go along with that. I can't wait to dig in. Firstly though, let's have you tell us a little bit about the Safety Team. What is it?
[00:02:45] Speaker B: The Safety Team is a non profit organization with a 20 year history of being focused on violence prevention and more recently on trauma recovery.
That's the short story of what we are. The larger story is we were formed, I would say in some ways almost by accident 20 years ago. The original founding members, and I am not the only one, were training at a dojo in the martial arts and at that time it was largely men who were training. So as soon as another woman came into the dojo, we were fast friends through that work and as we progressed in terms of training in our martial arts, we were asked to offer women's self defense class, which we did. And then true to form, many of the founding members, what we were teaching at that time had been developed by men. And we went out and did a bunch of research, talked to a lot of people and completely revised the program, brought other women on board with professional expertise, and formed the safety.
So it's a pretty incredible group of women. The founding members were in particular. We had such a diversity of professions and having met accidentally, we couldn't have planned a better team. So when we started it, we had myself as a psychologist, we had an educator who worked in one of the most diverse school systems in Vermont with a lot of trauma. We had a physical therapist, a forensic toxicologist. Who else did we have? Jenny in the very, very beginning, police officer, a forensic chemist. And we took all that professional expertise, put it into the curriculum, and haven't stopped updating it and offering it since.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: I mean, that's incredible. How have you seen it evolve over, over the 20 years? I'm curious, because it sounds like you had just a phenomenal perfect storm of people at the start to really get it off the ground. But I can imagine there were challenges along the way and moments of evolution.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: You know, we started it thinking, oh, we'll just offer a few workshops a year because we all have full time jobs. So this was our passion project. We were doing this on evenings and weekends and updating the curriculum, you know, while you're falling asleep on the couch at night and so forth. So it started that way with just a few workshops, I don't know, maybe 10 a year. And over time we took on some interns. We had people who attended some of the classes, then later join the team. Jenny is one of those. And we have grown now to have a much more broad board system. You know, we have board members, we have community members who help. So I would say it's been an evolution. And Jenny can speak to how many classes we do now. When I think about where we started and how many we did and how many we do now, it's, it's mind boggling to me. So maybe you can speak to that, Jenny, because you're, you're teaching a lot of those classes.
[00:05:38] Speaker C: We do now offer at least one to two classes a month, sometimes three to four. There's, there's a high demand. We have our community classes mostly in Chittenden county, but then we, we do private workshops and we've done it then maybe over 10 counties in Vermont. We've done them in high schools for organization where like the employees may have to go into people's homes, for instance, and felt in secret at some, some point. So yeah, we've been in a variety of settings and our curriculum also has evolved. Like if you go somewhere where really their issue is, oh yeah, I'm going into people's home, then we'll tackle that specifically and maybe add skits and help people really use their, their voice to establish their boundaries. So we'll adapt the skits that portray, you know, the kind of the approach phase of a predator to the setting where we're teach and you know, the participants also give us feedback. So we really take that into consideration and adapt the curriculum. Our instructors in training are also just such a goldmine of good suggestions. So our workshop, our curriculum is not static. It's always evolving.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: One more.
[00:06:56] Speaker A: And seemingly adaptable to the, to the, to the situation.
[00:07:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: One more thing I want to add is in terms of how it's evolved and I think this is an important development.
One of the things that we realized as we offered these classes is that some of the people who would most benefit would never take a self defense class because it has an image in the public perhaps. And I think it's a mistaken image as being intimidating. We really work hard to make it welcoming and calming and fun and people really have a good time. But for many survivors, that's a setting that really wouldn't work for them and wouldn't really be best attuned to what their needs are. So one of the things that we've developed in the last five years is an innovative mind body trauma recovery program that takes what we teach in our community classes that are more violence prevention and attunes it to healing. So what I like to say is our community classes are, you know, prevention with a side of healing and our trauma recovery program is healing with a side of prevention. I think of them as sister programs and like any sisters, they share some core components, but they're also different in some really fundamental ways. And so that's been a program that has really reached a lot of people who otherwise wouldn't have access to this. And I have to say, as a psychologist with 30 years plus experience in the field working with survivors of trauma of all types, it's some of the most gratifying work that I've ever done because you're really involving that mind and that body in a way that really speaks to the neuroscience and how people recover from trauma and also helps people reclaim that power in their body that they may have felt like they lost as well as claiming their voice. And all of that happens in our community classes too. But you really see a profound change in, you know, three to five sessions in this innovative trauma recovery program.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: That is interesting that you have the two different ways around the getting ahead of the issue and the dealing with the human. If there has been an issue, I.
[00:09:05] Speaker B: Would say we don't always get ahead of it because many people who are inspired to come to our violence prevention classes are trying to prevent the next time. And they're often inspired to come there because something has happened.
You know, unfortunately, given the prevalence of sexual violence, that's not a surprise that I would guess at least a third of the people in our community classes have already experienced something along the continuum of sexual violence or violence in general.
[00:09:35] Speaker C: That you're going to cut all that. Right.
[00:09:37] Speaker A: You mentioned that sometimes it's hard to get that person to take the leap and decide to be part of a class or part of a session that may be within their own environment or outside of. How do you convince them that this is a great thing to do?
[00:09:55] Speaker C: Well, we put emphasis on how this is empowerment, self defense. It's not a martial art class. It's really focused on prevention and that all level of fitness are welcome. So in our marketing material we have, you know, people of all ages and it's really a word to mouth also just people talking about their experience. In the workshop, we really put a lot of emphasis right from the moment people walk into the class on safety. And that means that people walk in, they are warmly greeted. Everybody, all the instructors check in with everybody. So if you come alone right away you make a connection. And we have a really high ratio of instructors to participants. And I think that's one of the things that really distinguish us from other empowerment self defense organization. We have at least four to five instructors for a group of 20. And the physical skills are practiced in small groups. So that also creates an element of safety. Every strike can be adapted to the person's if they have any challenges, maybe, you know, sore shoulders or anything. We can adapt. And all our instructors are not only trauma informed, they are also trauma responsive. That means that if they see someone who needs extra support, because we have to assume even in our community classes that half of the people must have had some sort of experience, some sort of sexual assault experience, because the statistics are there. 50% of people are of women in the United States have experienced some sort of sexual assault other than rape. And about one out of four women in the United States have been raped. So we have to assume that people in our classes have had stuff happen to them.
So that's why we have such a high ratio of instructors, so that if something comes up for them during the class, we can support them. We've been trained by Christine on how to help someone who is either, you know, activated, gets really agitated, or start leaving their body and dissociate. So we can help them so that our classes are not causing damage, because that can happen. If something happened to you and you go to a class and things come up and you don't have anybody to help you with this, then you leave feeling unsettled.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: Well, I just want to pick up on that because I think that can happen where someone comes to a class, not necessarily ours. We do our best, but comes to a training like this and gets activated in a way that they don't even anticipate, and then they leave more fearful than when they arrived. And that is something we really don't want to happen in terms of how we get people to come to the class. Right now, that isn't hard because all the things that are going on and all I think have got people feeling a need for this sort of training. The other thing I would say is if you look at our website, lots of the pictures have people smiling. And that's not accidental. And it's not hard for us to find people of pictures, pictures of people smiling because the class is fun. What we need to do when we. When we're in these classes is have people relax and be in a state of mind where they can learn. And you can't do that if you're anxious. We don't learn when we're anxious. We learn when we're in a condition where we're comfortable and we feel safe and we're having fun. So to the best of our ability, we make the classes fun and people find them fun. The other thing I would say is that, and I have observed this over 20 years without exception. I have discovered not alone, but I have discovered that everybody likes to hit things. They just don't know it. And so interesting once people start hitting things. I remember when I first sort of had this realization. I was working with a group of senior citizens. So these, you know, your grandmother type who, you know, would, you know, bake you cookies or what have you, whatever stereotype you might think of. And then they started hitting the pads. Oh, my gosh. I unleashed grandma's inner warrior.
And they loved it. And it was at that point when I was like, you know what? I think everybody likes to hit things. They just don't know. And that has been Confirmed over and over and over again. So we're very intentional in the material we put out to show what is an accurate representation of our classes, which is people have fun while they're learning, and they walk out feeling empowered. They walk out with skills, and they walk out knowing how to set boundaries or feeling more comfortable setting boundaries in all sorts of areas of their life. And lastly, I would say that we don't teach anything that's complicated. There isn't. You don't have to be a martial artist. You can be anybody. Come in there and you'll learn a few things that will help keep you safe. And the truth of the matter is, if you ever need to use them, you're not going to get evaluated unjudged on whether you execute it perfectly. If you do something, it will help deter an attack and help you escape more safely than had you not had this type of training.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: I love that you say that people love to hit things, and this is what you've discovered. I was actually thinking how there may be a little bit of a hurdle when you come into a class, which is to prevent violence. Because now you're learning to set boundaries and maybe you're going to hit some things and how that could actually trigger somebody in some ways, but maybe it's very relieving and permission to be able to release that energy, especially as a female. Like, it's not cool as a female to say, I like to hit things.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: Well, I say it. And I think what people find out also is that they're stronger than they think they are. You know, when they're hitting the pads or they're kicking, they're like, wow, I didn't know I could do that. And so how amazing is that for us to be able to be a part of that and to witness someone being someone being like, yeah, I can do that. And learning how to use their voice. You know, I think in our society, I think many people, including women, are silenced or encouraged to not be advocates for themselves as much as perhaps would be in their best interest. And what we do is we really encourage people to use their voice. I watch people, especially if they attend more than one session. I definitely see this in the therapeutic program. People come into their voice, they reclaim it. They find a way to begin to say, in a volume that matters, what is on their mind and what they need. Boy, that's. That's pretty gratifying.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I can see the value of practicing that over more than one session so that it can be there for you when you need it. If you need it, hopefully you don't. And then along the line of hitting things by day, I'm a squash coach. Squash is a racket sport. We hit the ball against a wall. I actually have made a profession over hitting things.
I know and completely see the value therapeutically. And then using the voice, I can see that. And we're not just talking exclusively women. I do understand that. But I think stereotypically as a woman, the mode would be to be more silent and try and extract. But perhaps sometimes that's not an option. And here's where you may need to.
[00:17:27] Speaker C: Have that confidence, like that empowerment, that practicing using your voice, it goes beyond physical safety. It can really lead to taking positive risks in your life to maybe try, you know, a new hobby or apply for a new job or. Or just have healthier relationships, like just being more comfortable using your voice, stating your preference, setting boundaries, it just, you know, lead to a saner life.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Yeah, so they. They come in looking for one thing, but they come out actually more whole human in a lot of areas, it sounds like. Yeah.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: I mean, to piggyback onto what Jenny said, I think there's a generalization of their self confidence, which can translate from a situation where they're at risk to all sorts of different areas of their lives. And I think it's really interesting. We worked with a basketball team of girls, a women's basketball team, for one of the local colleges many years ago. And these are women who are athletes. You know, you talk about what you teach and that, I don't want to say aggressiveness, but that, you know, that need to really be active in your sport and to sort of push boundaries in a way that you can score did not translate to their social life.
So because you can do it in one area doesn't mean you can do it in another without in some ways, some practice and some really thinking about, well, I should be able to do this in this other area of my life. They were fascinating because, you know, I have to say, when they were hitting the pads, they were strong.
But when we talked about some of the social situations that they were in, we've seen this in a number of different colleges. These are exceptional women who are bright and athletic and struggled to set some of these boundaries and to advocate for themselves in other areas of their lives, which potentially put them at their safety at risk. And so that was part of what they got out of it was, oh, this is. This is. There's ripple effects to this, and that's really important.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: And I Guess actually what I take from that, as a coach, is that I should be thinking about those things too, as I educate my students. And it's not just about the confines of the sport. And I'm definitely a coach that's invested in the whole human. I'm not invested in the pure outcome of an athletic event. But it's really fascinating to hear. To hear what you're saying. And as you're talking about your women's basketball team there, I think within sport, there are set rules, there are boundaries already predetermined, and you work within that, you push them as far as you can, and you learn to do that. But life, that doesn't exist in life.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Not only does it not exist, but think about what you're trying to counter in terms of the socialization that you may have been raised with since birth, about how different populations are supposed to act, how women are supposed to act, how men are supposed to act, how everything in penalty is supposed to act. You know, that's powerful stuff. You know, look at any of the ads or marketing that's still out there, or, you know, how a woman who is assertive is viewed by others. It is likely to be very different than how that same behavior might be viewed if a man were to display it. You know, there's. That still exists. I mean, I see it even in myself personally. So I am a psychologist. I also run a practice and build the building that we're in. And I remember going to the meetings with the construction with the guys who were building, and I say guys, because it was all guys building the building. And I remember the key person there, my husband was there looking at my husband the entire time. When it was my building and my practice. And my husband, to his credit, I think he's been socialized a little at home.
You need to be looking at her, because this is her thing.
And this was only a few years ago. So it's out there for sure. And I've seen my daughters experience it. I hear about it from clients, from friends, from coworkers, so forth. I think we're in a culture right now or a climate right now where I'm worried about where it might go in a direction that takes us steps backwards.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: I hear you loud and clear. It happened to me last week. I'm at a big championships with my squash teams. I coach the men's team and the women's team, and somebody wants to come up and get a media interview, they go straight to my male assistant. Are you the head. Are you the Wesleyan Squash coach. Well, I'm the assistant. The head coach is over here. So it can be so subtle sometimes people don't notice it. I do appreciate you, you bringing that up. Now, to be fair to men, do you see men at your groups? Is that. Do you have separate male groups? How does that factor in? Or if indeed it does, you know.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: Our specialty, and I'll let you chime in, Jenny, but our specialty has been over the last 20 years, working with anyone who identifies as female identified. However, we're on the cusp of, of expanding. There's been many requests for it, and men are at risk as well. And when we have had. We have had some trainings where we have had men in the audience. So we do some, in addition to the two programs that we talked about, we do some keynote presentations, we do some larger presentations for college classes and so forth. And there's men in those audiences. And I have really enjoyed doing that because often the men will come up to us and say, I had no idea. I had no idea. That's what it's like. On the other side, I think there's also a need for specialized trainings for men who might be at risk for violence as well. But many of these issues that we talk about are specific to women. A study that we sometimes quote in some of our workshops that was done by some Emory students many, many years ago, and they asked men and women the same question, which is, what do you do on a daily basis to keep yourself safe?
So they asked the women, and they had lists upon lists upon lists upon lists of things that they do on a daily basis to keep themselves safe. They were very present in their mind thinking about it. And when they asked the men, they tried to come up with some things, but they really struggled. And they pretty much said, yeah, I don't really do anything. And so it's different. It's a different world.
[00:23:59] Speaker A: It is. It took me a while to realize that fully.
[00:24:02] Speaker C: We have a community event coming up on April 14th that's open to everyone and it's informational evening where we'll talk about the social and economic impact of sexual violence in our state in the United States. We'll talk about also some of the stuff that we do in class. We have a new video.
It's a short video, just about seven minutes. And it was created by an award winning filmmaker. And so we'll present. So that's how, you know, we. We try to include everybody in any way that we can. We teach in affinity groups, which means that the instructors and the participants have an identity in common because that does help with that feeling of safety. So we do need to train men so that they can then offer the workshop, offer our programs in affinity groups.
[00:24:59] Speaker B: You know, just as a follow up to that. I think that's really important. And to have the instructors being part of that affinity group I think is really important for at least two reasons. One is they are the experts, they're walking that walk, they know what they're facing. And the second is, I think old school self defense, women's self defense was men teaching women. And there's something about that that feels disempowering when you've got someone from a group that you're not, that isn't in your affinity group, you know, delivering the information to you. In and of itself, it feels like a power differential. And so I really, I feel strongly that we can work with various people, we can hear what their concerns might be, we can help give them information. But they are the experts. And I really wholeheartedly believe that those experts should then go into their communities, to their groups and so forth. It shouldn't be us delivering this wisdom to other people in that way.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: I think you made the point earlier when they asked the question, what do you do on a daily basis to stay safe? And you've got groups saying, yeah, I just go about my day, I'm good. And then you've got the other group saying, well, these are the 20 things of my checklist. If I'm not one of those people with the 20 things on my checklist, how on earth can I understand the other people with 20 things on their checklist? But I think it's worth pointing out it's not perhaps completely obvious. And something that did occur to me earlier as you were speaking, you mentioned how old school self defence was, men teaching women. When you started the safety team, you took that curriculum and evolved it into something that made more sense to the affinity group, that is women. What were the differences?
[00:26:46] Speaker B: I think the differences that I see, and again, Jenny, you chime in, is that the, you know, some of the older programs are focused on things that aren't really relevant in terms of your safety. So, for example, there are some programs that talk about, you know, making sure you put your blinds down at night. Now, you know, that's not really helpful on a daily basis because what we know is 85% or 85% of attackers are people we know. But they're not necessarily. They're out in our world, they're out at our work situation or they're an acquaintance or, you know, so some of the risk factors that were mentioned in some of, of these old school programs weren't really effective in terms of reducing your risk. So we talk about more of the social, cultural factors that influence it. We talk about more real, real issues that people face. I think those are some of the differences. We're also more strength based. We talk about what power do you already have? What strength do you already have? And that is not necessarily how some of the older school programs were taught.
And it's not so much fear based as it is awareness based. What we're trying to do is help people feel like they can do what they want to do, but do it in a way that reduces their risk. In the ideal world, you wouldn't need to think about that, but we are far from that. So at this point, it's really building that awareness and avoidance of real concerns that you might face based on the evidence, research evidence that's out there, what does present at risk.
[00:28:13] Speaker C: So we actually go into learning how predators think so that you can learn their habit. And that informs you when you might want to be extra aware, to pay attention, to be able to spot the danger and try to avoid it. And then when it's not possible, then you can use the physical skills that.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: We teach in class and the verbal skills.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: Just, you know, just getting into a defensive stance, you know, putting your arms up and showing power with your posture that can deter 60% of attacks. And if you add your voice to it, it goes up to 80%. So our workshops are really focused on prevention. And the physical skills are just like an insurance if you, if you, but the, the prevention part may very well, you know, get you out of a non safe situation.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: And I should say that both of you are kempo jiu jitsu, black belts, of which, Dr. Christine, you are at the sensei level. Incredibly impressive. How did you distill those skills down to what you use for your groups?
[00:29:26] Speaker B: You know, we use really basic skills that anyone can execute, so they're highly effective, but they're pretty easy to learn, you know, so we're not teaching anything complicated.
That isn't what happens in our classes. So they're very basic skills. They're things not only that are easy to learn, but easy to remember and easy to practice so that you have them in the ready should you need them. You know, we want things that you can kind of pull out almost automatically should you need it, without thinking. The same thing with the voice we practice a lot of pairing those strikes with the voice because one of the things that happens under adrenaline stress is that you're rendered silent. An area of the brain called Broca's area goes offline. And so it's really hard to speak when you're under that kind of fear. And there's lots of reason for that from an evolutionary standpoint. But in this situation, that's not in your best interest to be silent.
It's more of a deterrent if you're using your voice. And it also alerts people around you that there's something going on that's not okay. So we're doing stuff that is really, I think, very powerful, but also very basic.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Manageable for anybody?
[00:30:36] Speaker B: I think so. And if you have a physical injury, we adapt it. One of our team members is a physical therapist. She's great at saying, all right, you can't do that, then let's do this. You know, we teach five basic strikes in our level one class, and I think people walk out with their favorite, and that's the one they're likely to use. You don't need a whole repertoire of bedazzling techniques. You only need a couple of things that work. And what we like to say, if one elbow works, then ten is even better. You use what you like, what you can remember what works for your body. It will serve as a deterrent.
[00:31:10] Speaker A: And I almost hate to ask this, but have you had success stories come back where people have been able to utilize the skills they've learned? I kind of don't want them to have utilized any of the skills they've learned. But what's been the experiential feedback for you guys?
[00:31:26] Speaker C: Well, I feel like more like the using your voice and setting boundaries is a lot of the feedback we get. We offer a level one empowerment, self defense, and a level two. And we start the level two by asking, has anything changed for you since the last time we saw you? Which is usually one month between the two levels? And there's always someone saying, this happened to me. And I was able to just really set a boundary and be clear. And those boundaries often are set with people with their friends, with their co workers, with. So it's not necessarily with a stranger that wants to hurt you, but just with the people around them. And research shows that if you just have. If you present with power, if you present with having a strong voice, you're less likely to become a target. Because predators don't want to get hurt. They don't want to get caught. So just having that posture, that powerful posture can reduce your risks. And people definitely talk about that. Maybe I was somewhere where there was, you know, I could feel like I was more in danger. And I put my shoulders up, my chin up, and I walk with purpose. And even if you don't feel like it, faking it helps you feel better.
And all of that reduces your risk.
[00:32:51] Speaker B: Yeah. So I don't know.
[00:32:52] Speaker C: Christine, do you know, have you heard of someone? Actually, yeah.
[00:32:55] Speaker B: There's a couple of things I would say is, is you'll never know the fights you never needed to get into. You'll never be able to kind of count what you were able to deter with that powerful posture and that sense of confidence that you just deterred it from the get go, you know. So I think there's that. I have heard stories from clients and others who have taken some of our programs where they have used the physical and verbal boundaries and they were able to deter an attack that might have, that might have. So I have heard that. I think there have also been a few situations where people had to actually use the physical. I would say over the course of the 20 years, we see way more in the being able to avoid it and deter it from the get go. And as you go down the line, fewer who've needed to use the next set and then the next set of skills. And the research shows that it's a highly effective form of risk reduction. There's a lot of research that says it reduces your risk by about 60 to 70% over a two year period. They've tracked it. And what I would add to that, that should you actually need to use the physical techniques, your recovery in terms of your psychological functioning is better because you were able to sort of mobilize and do the best that you could with that. One of the things that's really hard for survivors is a very natural freeze response occurs. The adrenaline dump that happens when you're in a situation like that. And it often causes that freeze response. And that can feel even though it's a very natural neurobiological response, it's not your faul. Our brain in the service of your survival, trying to take care of you. But often what accompanies that is a sense of I didn't do anything and a shame. And I want to say it again, it's not your fault. It's a brain reflex. You know, you wouldn't blame me if you hit a hammer on my knee and my foot went up. You wouldn't be like, what are you doing? With your foot, why is it going up? You'd be like, oh, yeah, that happened. This is sort of the same thing. It's a brain reflex, but unlike many reflexes, you can train yourself out of it. And that's what we do in our classes. So that. That may be. You may freeze momentarily, but then you have a slew of strategies that you can use and regain that sense of power and action.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: I mean, that's very encouraging to hear. And the more you talk about it, the more I feel this is entirely attainable for, again, just about anybody. You say you. You make sure it's a very welcoming environment, that people feel safe, very important. Important. You are often, I'm sure, having people coming in with trauma. How do you make it fun? What are some of the funniest moments you've had? There's got to be some.
[00:35:33] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. There are so many.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: I mean, that you can share, obviously.
[00:35:38] Speaker B: I mean, I have to say, I don't know if this is fun, but one of the things that really surprises people, and it's one of my favorite parts. And we've been doing this from the very beginning, because I, you know, when we started this, I'm a mom. The person I started it with was mom. We would always bring cookies. So we would always have cookies at the end. And it's amazing to me how having food sitting in a circle relaxes people. They start sharing, they start laughing. We have never missed a workshop. We've always had cookies, and that's what we call them, connection cookies. You know, we've always had that. You know, so that. To me, I. I always look forward to that part. I really like the cookies.
[00:36:18] Speaker C: There's a part where we have people, just before we take a break, we talk about your posture, power of your posture, and then we tell them to get up and put their shoulders back, chin up, and then they can go and grab a chocolate. But they have to earn it with their power walk. And that always makes people giggle. And everybody's walking with power, and so that's a fun part.
There's also a moment where we.
We talk about targets. You know, we want to make our strikes really efficient, effective. And so, you know, it can get a little gory, like telling people, yeah, you're gonna stick your thumbs into the corner of their eyes and then just go. And everybody goes, oh. And so, you know, it's life. You don't see yourself do that. You have ten fingers, two eyes, poke them. So it all, you know, we.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: I think our style is casual. Engaging. And I think we're hilarious now. I think we really try to make it fun. And so whenever there's an opportun and the participants are great because they'll add to it, they'll add to it too. It's really an interaction. So I can't think of a particular moment, but there's moments in every single workshop where people are laughing and there's something about when they get into the small group. So there might be what, four people with one instructor, three people with one instructor, they really kind of connect. They get to know their instructor, they get to know the people they're in the group with. Can they. Stuff comes up that's funny and the participants are, they're funny.
I feel like that's a success. When someone's relaxed enough that they can be laughing and having fun, that's when they're learning. If they're in there. God, this topic is so stressful and so scary. They're not learning.
[00:38:10] Speaker C: If you look at our Google reviews, you'll see everybody says and it was fun.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: That's great to hear because I say the topic could be heavy but the learning and connecting and healing doesn't have to be that. And it sounds like you're creating wonderfully safe spaces for that to occur.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: Thanks.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: So super encouraging. I mean this is so, so impressive. I'd love to learn a little bit more about each of you and your journey to get to this point. And Christine, I know psychologist for 30 years, you have your own practice. Safety team is certainly not your full time job. And you just mentioned mother and Jenny, I know you're a mother too and I think reading some of the notes started out as a volunteer, sort of evolved into this and also have your own businesses in women centric areas.
Christine, maybe talk us through what brought you to this.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: It's funny because one of my favorite quotes is life is a series of accidents and the safety team is not an exception to that. So how I got into this, I started well, I should back up my daughters and my husband started taking martial arts. And I was like, that is so goofy. I'm not doing that. And then it was free for me to join and I was like, oh well yeah, but it's free so I'll try it because I'm a sucker for free. So I went there and I started hitting things and I loved it. And so I just kept going. Long after my husband dropped out, my kids dropped out, I just kept going into the martial arts and all the way up to fifth degree black belt. And it's changed my life because I experienced what I think some of the participants experienced, which is I'm more present in my body, I've claimed my own voice. I feel more confident. I think it's been good for my mental and physical health in every way that I can think of. And so it's been an incredible journey. And the safety team kind of was a happy combination that I never planned because I got asked to teach the women's self defense course when I had my first degree black belt, started doing it, and then it just kind of took off from there. And safety team folks came in. And I have to say, it's a mission of my heart because, you know, I walk through this world as a woman facing the same risks that other people might face or the same histories that other people might face. And I have two daughters, and I really wanted this world to be better for them. And that inspired me to do this too. And I wish I could say that I think it is better for them, maybe in some ways, but in other ways, our work is not done.
[00:40:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I hear that.
And Jenny, what was your Genesis?
[00:40:57] Speaker C: Well, about 10 years ago, my daughter, who was 14, was out walking at the park with a friend, and then someone tried to steal her bag and she came back pretty upset and I felt pretty powerless. You know, having my daughter, she's 14, I want her to be able to have her independence. And that had happened during the day, two blocks from our house. So I got online and looked for self defense classes and I found a safety team. So we attended a level one and we, we both loved it. So we signed up for the level two and then we wanted more. So we joined the dojo where the instructors were training, and my daughter Dale started to intern with the safety team and I was helping out here and there. I got my black belt a couple years ago, and then my daughter went to college in Quebec and they asked me if I would step up and be more of a regular volunteer. Eventually joined the board. Eventually they kicked me out of the board so that I could become the executive director. It really, as you see, it changed my life. It changed my daughter's life. She is now also a certified instructor with the safety team. She works as a mental health technician at the emergency department. And definitely I can see that the skill she has obtained with the safety team, both with like, the knowledge and the physical skills, helps her in her role as a mental health technician. And she's even, you know, they have like, safety programs and she chips in with with the safety team knowledge, and they have adapted things with that. So it all made sense to me to do this. I'm. I'm a massage therapist and I specialize in prenatal and postnatal. I'm a childbirth educator. So I've been involved in women's empowerment all my life. So that just made a lot of sense. I actually even had one of my babies, you know, well, one. A family in my childbirth education class came with their daughter last year to safety team training. And she looked at me and went, hang on, you were my childbirth educator. So it felt like a full circle.
[00:43:18] Speaker A: That's very powerful. And how amazing that your daughter, having been through that experience, is now educating and giving back and you are both helping tens, if not hundreds or more people.
[00:43:28] Speaker C: We serve, I mean, just with the community workshop, at least 300 people a year. And now we also have an instructor training because the demand exceeds what we can offer. So our focus now is on training instructors so that they can take the training to their communities. So we have, we have. U32 is a high school in Montpelier. They're now offering empowerment, self defense, their students. We have also workshops at cvu.
We have people that work from Vermont National Air Guards that are now offering that on the base. We have HR people from the city of Burlington that will also offer that. So they are taking the training, they are adapting it to their communities and spreading the knowledge.
[00:44:20] Speaker B: I would just add to that. We're also next week doing a week long training for social workers and mental health providers at one of the regional universities and training them to be able to offer the therapeutic impairment self defense program, the trauma recovery program. I don't know what your vision is, Jenny, but my vision is that as a team, there's only so many of us, but the more we can train other people to go into their communities, then the ability to prevent violence or help people heal is then exponentially increased. And that's what we're hoping to do. In addition to the keynote speakers, where we can reach hundreds of people at once, go into corporations and so forth. But training others is a big part of what we see as our future, because that's what needs to happen.
Yeah.
[00:45:08] Speaker A: And actually my next question was going to be, what is your vision for the future? It sounds like the system is proven and executable so that we need to get it out. If this could go national, is that the kind of way you see this headed?
[00:45:22] Speaker B: International?
[00:45:25] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: Perfect.
Why not?
[00:45:29] Speaker C: We definitely need to be. Our programs need to Be in every schools, high schools, colleges. The. The risks for college women is so high, one out of four college women is assaulted. And the highest risk is in that first 90 days when they start college.
Our programs need to be part of, like the orientation way. They need to be part of senior year and high schools because it can really decrease the risks to have exposed to that information.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: And that the statistic that Jenny just mentioned is a far underestimate of the scope of the problem. You know, if you think about even just some of the Title IX changes that have happened, the reporting of sexual assault, you know, for understandable reasons, is low because, you know, you're assaulted once and then you're assaulted by the system the second time. And so I can completely understand why people may feel like, you know, I just can't do that. So what we know is that the rate of sexual violence is far higher than any of the estimates are. And I'm hard pressed to talk to someone who in some ways isn't touched by it, whether it's themselves or a family member or a friend or a co worker or. I feel like it's an issue that just.
It's an epidemic and it's everywhere in some way in its influence and in its impact.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: Yep, you're absolutely correct.
[00:47:00] Speaker B: So I can say we've reached out to a number of colleges and tried to work with them in a variety of ways, and I'm really thankful that. And I'll give a shout out to UNH that has invited us on because many of the colleges that we have taught with aren't quite ready to acknowledge the scope of the problem. I can guess as to why I think that is, but it does a disservice to students. You know, I was that parent when my daughters were going to college and taking the tours and. And they point out the blue light system, which is completely ineffective, you know, because how many assaults occur by the blue light outside here in Vermont in the cold? I'm thinking that's a very low percentage. However, you know, I would ask, I would always raise my hand. And I kind of feel bad now for the poor tour guide because I'd raise my hand and say, so what are you doing to help prevent sexual violence on campus? And they'd say, the blue light system, like, is there anything else? And they'd say in the blue light.
[00:48:00] Speaker C: System, a lot of many colleges have yes, and that's.
Well, they have phones, so. So it's the middle of the night, something happens. Maybe you have tonic immobility. You Know that freezing response to stress. And you're expected to get your phone.
[00:48:18] Speaker B: Out and call for help before the person does something. You know, that's like, I'm in a car and I see that there's going to be a collision, I should pull my phone out and call.
I don't think that is what's going to happen. In fact, what will happen is there'll be the accident and then if you're lucky, you'll call.
It's not going to be before. And I would not advise that to anyone in a car accident. And I'm not, you know, unless you can. You feel like you have enough time before you think an assault is going to happen, I wouldn't necessarily recommend you get on your phone because if the person's really close now, you may have missed an opportunity to deter them using physical and verbal boundaries.
And you're maybe distracted. And that makes it easier for someone who is dedicated to attacking to do just that.
[00:49:15] Speaker A: And you bring up great reason why this program is so important.
And most of these situations are occurring behind closed doors, not in the middle of a sidewalk. And people know, and I get that. And I've seen the other side of it. And sometimes it takes them a long time to come forward, if ever at all. And the ones that do are very brave in their way.
[00:49:38] Speaker B: I'm going to add to that that you're brave no matter what. Whether you come forward or you are comfortable coming forward. You're brave because you've survived something that's incredibly difficult. And I hope that you've been able to find a way to heal at least somewhat. But surviving any kind of violence like that, sexual violence of any type, is not easy. And kudos to you for still being here, here.
[00:50:04] Speaker A: Well, I'm going to do my best to see where I work is in Connecticut. It's not too far away from you. Let's and see if they'll adopt and embrace your program. I think that would be wonderful. Now, as we are currently recording this in Women's History Month in March, moving to Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April, I think this is very appropriate that we're having this discussion. And you mentioned you have have some community events coming up, so you want to just touch on those again so people know what's happening.
[00:50:36] Speaker C: Well, we have a community event in Burlington where we'll be showing the short video that we just released and also just talking about the impact of sexual violence. And there'll be, you know, information strategies on lowering your risk. So we intend to make it fun. And we have so many workshops. Also schedule for April, we have one on April 1. We're doing March 25 in Montpelier. April 1, South Burlington.
We have I think April 12, Sterling College, we have April 19, a workshop for the Vermont Professionals of Colors. We have another one on April 28th. So we'll we're busy.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: So check our website, the safetyteam.org and it lists all of that. And I just want to talk about that community event because I have to add my favorite word is free.
So kind.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: My favorite word cookie.
[00:51:36] Speaker B: My second favorite word.
[00:51:40] Speaker A: Wonderful. Well, again, they can find it. And I'll put your website in the program notes so people can find it there too. But a quick search of the safety team I know will bring up information both on you guys and and the program.
[00:51:55] Speaker B: May I say one more thing?
[00:51:57] Speaker A: Of course. Anything.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: The other thing I would throw out there is an invitation to anyone who is interested in this topic to reach out to us. There are many ways you can support behind the scenes. Maybe you're a writer or you take photos or you are good with administrative tasks or you want to be trained to be a teacher or a therapeutic empowerment instructor in any of our programs. There's so many ways to help and of course, if you have other resources that you want to share, we're all for that. So I invite anyone who is interested to reach out. There's so many ways that you can support this mission and every bit helps and every bit is needed.
[00:52:36] Speaker C: You don't have to have martial arts background to become an instructor. None of our instructor, our trainees have martial art background. So anyone can do that.
[00:52:48] Speaker B: You know, one of the favorite introductions that one of our new instructors has is after we go around and we say we all what rank we are, what belt we have. She says, I have the Nobel Prize. I have no belt.
[00:53:02] Speaker C: I have a regular.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: That's a different one. There's two of them that say that. So you know, you don't need any kind of special skills, just a passion for help.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: And it's clearly been just such a fulfilling part of your lives. And to help and give back, I think is the ultimate evolution of the human self. You guys are exemplifying all of that. It has been such a pleasure to meet and speak with you both today. I'm excited to dig more into your events and let's see if we can't get you out there on more campuses.
[00:53:33] Speaker C: We'd love that.
[00:53:34] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you for inviting us. This has been a fun. This has been fun.
[00:53:38] Speaker A: This has been super fun. Thank you so much, guys.
This has been infinite human with me, Sharona Kerr. Until next time, Keep challenging yourself and make others better along the way.
